QH: First off the rank – can you explain to the readers why you requested to be featured on Quick Hands?

TJ: Haha… Was a tongue and cheek comment which you have sensationalised here QH. Perhaps this is a deflection from the fact “Quick Hands” had lost its swagger of late?

QH: You’re a habitual man. So habitual we hear you ordered pasta from the same venue – Ragazzi – for 10 years the night before game. Is this true? What then caused a split leading to you switching allegiance to Derby Thai?

TJ: Tis true. Ragazzi (Albert Park) held a very special place in my heart for a long period of time (shout out to Effie & the gang down there!). Unfortunately, a change in the head chef saw their famous ‘chicken spirelli’ pasta lose its touch. This was a deal breaker.

I’ve signed a 1 year deal with Derby Thai focusing more on Asian cuisine & rice-based dishes pre-game. Recommend heading down to Grey Street for those culinary enthusiasts (if you can brave all that comes with the territory).

QH: Does it anger to constantly hear Clay Johnston referred to as the best of the three brothers?

TJ: Ha! I’ve never heard that expression!

QH: There’s been a lot of noise recently around your recent Instagram profile. What caused you to finally conform and talk us through your posting strategy?

TJ: Due to a pending legal dispute, I’m not at liberty to divulge such information. I’ll have to leave it at that for now. But lets just say, you don’t look like this from eating Cheese Toasties before training each week…  (QH: ‘He’ posts a photo of a cheese toastie most weeks before training)

QH: You take a lot of pride in your appearance, especially on game day. Do you cut the red off your socks to get the full black appearance to match with your black boots?

TJ: Big believer in the “look good, feel good” movement. The red is sometimes hidden but it is still very much a part of the overall presentation.

QH: Further to the above – a number of people have also questioned the additional white taping you get around your shins. Do you do this simply to make your legs look better?

TJ: Expected some better questions here QH – If you do your homework & look closely you will see no white taping. It’s simply an extension of my ankle strapping. To your point about the ‘legs’ - This look probably highlights the pins but it is done unwittingly. (QH: After consulting professionals, we’ve found that the height of TJs taping has no medical effects – therefore we can conclude that he does it purely for aesthetics)

QH: Besides yourself obviously – whose dress sense do you rate at the club?

TJ: When he gets his head right, which is not often, I think Duck can look sharp! God have mercy on Jake Williams for his wardrobe selection.

QH: How highly do you rate your singing ability?

TJ: I’ll let the people speak on my behalf…

QH: There’s rumours floating around about the time you were offering to sign the 2017 OXFC handbook as you featured on the cover? Confirm or deny?

TJ: Was this the 2017 or 2018 handbook? I encountered a very drunken Nicholas Serafini whom had recently retired. He joked about getting me to sign the handbook. Next thing I knew… I had the entire playing group/supporters lining up outside Orrong Road for a signature. It was a special moment. (turns out the jokes on me!)

QH: A few nicknames have come up in our research. Talk use through:

QH: Tomi 2 Time

TJ: Marc (Wok) Johnston created this one… That’s what he refers to me from here on out. It has caught on with a few… (QH: We contacted Marc for confirmation here and he firmly denies)

QH: Mirrors

TJ: Mirrors tend to keep looking at me… Jake Williams’ old man actually gave me that one. (Used to get sprung looking at my reflection a hell of a lot, not so much anymore, I have got better at disguising it).

QH: Similar to singing we hear you rate yourself on the basketball court… But we also hear that your jump shot looks uglier than Rajon Rondo. Thoughts?

TJ: Have been called White Chocolate on the basketball court… The jump shot is a work in progress.

QH: Did you live off frozen Hawaiian pizzas for a majority of your single life?

TJ: I did – the McCain’s Hawaiian pizza got me through a lot of dark times. Still not much of a cook to be honest. Karina looks after me at home.

QH: Finally – who do you think is the best bloke at the club?

TJ: With blokes like Louis Denton & Jake Williams in the ‘sheds’ things from the outside may look like we are spreading ourselves a little thin but it’s quite the contrary. We have a good group. Hate to single out anyone but I will say, I’m excited by Trigar… Just when I thought I’d seen it all, this bloke has popped up and is a quick reminder that great people come in different shapes & sizes.